


can dead people still love

by men_acinex



Category: Legacies (TV 2018), The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, F/M, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-28 04:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30133668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/men_acinex/pseuds/men_acinex
Summary: elena gilbert has never been the same. a selective mute, she catches the eyes of the boys and girls alike from beauty and mystery. stefan salvatore is the new kid at school, a prep academy, with a secret to hide but a stronger curiosity.
Relationships: Elena Gilbert/Stefan Salvatore, Matt Donovan/Caroline Forbes, Vicki Donovan/Jeremy Gilbert
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hiiii i’m trying something new lol  
> i’m working on plot building and character development so pls excuse if this is like particularly boring or what not  
> any feed back is appreciated ❤️

One

Across the room devoid of sound, a pencil scratched against paper, intense and focused for one awake so early in the morning. Her own eyes struggled to keep from weighing down, the rhythmic sounds of work tuning in and out of her attention only added to her drowsiness. Keeping her awake was curiosity; Who is he? And how is he so awake at this hour? 

Elena moved her attention down to her own notebook, willing herself to write down notes as her English teacher was interpreting the profound meaning to Leaves of Grass. The only thing Elena found profound about it this early in the morning was how easily it could put one to sleep if read aloud. 

The new student seated across the aisle from her seemed invested, like learning the deeper meaning to the poems of a pretentious old man from the nineteenth century was a matter of life and death to him. This was the first time he was attending the lectures, though, so Elena figured this could be his way of making a good first impression on the teacher. Really, he made an impression on her. Seated behind the shared mahogany desk, the new student wore the school uniform of a white button-up under a burgundy sweater, and black dress pants. Deep brown hair that matched the table, styled but not stiff. A reserved demeanor, almost protective. 

Elena shook her head slightly. Obsessing over a stranger was not going to get her any good grades. 

Boarding school had the blessing and curse of being surrounded by your peers at almost all moments. Moments of privacy were harder to come by, but support was easier to seek out. Except for when one can barely relate to those around them. Elena could barely stand anyone, let alone have a desire to be their friend, but somehow her roommate of the past two years had roped her into being a returning cast member of her friend group. Joining them for dinner in the student cafeteria every night became a coin toss for an enjoyable time. Sometimes Elena would be able to relax and enjoy their jokes, other times she would eat like a vacuum and insist studying had to be done. 

Solitude followed her into the hallways of the school, and her mind raced with the stress of the large homework packet in her hands. Pre-calculus problems and vocabulary to memorize, along with annotations for Leaves of Grass due the next day. On her way to her last class of the day, Elena wondered when the academic stress would end. Or when she would learn to manage it. 

Round the corner, Elena met a blockade with a thud after falling to the floor. Her papers fell down beside her, and her backpack brought her down even faster like an anchor. 

“Are you okay?” a deep voice asked. 

Dazed, Elena looked up to meet the voice. The new student looked down at her with concern. 

“Uh….yes. Sorry, did I run into you?” 

He let out a small laugh. “Sort of.” He crouched down to retrieve her papers from the floor, then reached a hand out to help her up. Hesitantly, Elena accepted, still confused. She rounds that corner every day without interruption. Every day is like clockwork. 

“Did you hurt something?” he asked, pressing her work into her hands. 

“No. Thanks.” 

Elena ducks her head and then goes to move around him, back in pursuit of her next class. 

The loudness of the cafeteria was almost too much for Stefan’s ears. He joined his roommate for dinner, not knowing where else he could sit that wasn’t pathetically by himself in this strange new place. He had met many new people today, all seemingly eager to introduce themselves to someone new coming in the middle of the second month of the school year. No one stood out to him, though. Except maybe the quiet girl he just about tackled in the hallway right before school ended. He didn’t know her name, though, and based on her disinterest in their interaction, he knew she’d be far from happy to be near him again. 

“Who’s that?” Stefan asked his roommate, discreetly pointing towards the table Elena sat at with about six other people. 

“Who? Oh, her. That’s Elena Gilbert, why?”

“I accidentally ran into her in the hallway today, knocked her off her feet. I feel bad,” Stefan replied.

“Ouch. She’s not much of a talker. I think I’ve heard her say three words all of high school. Her roommate says she has selective mutism,” he joked.

“Really?”

“I don’t know. Probably just moody.”

“Right. Who are all those people with her?” 

“Well, the blonde girl to the left is Caroline, and the blonde guy next to her is Matt. They’re dating, I think. They break up several times a week so no one really knows. Then the girl across from them is Bonnie,” his roommate said, referring to the back of a head with no face to place. “And then the girl next to her with the lighter hair is Vicki. And to her left is Jeremy, Elena’s brother. Also allegedly dating Vicki.” 

“Why all this alleged dating?” Stefan asked.

“Well, the competitive academic scene kind of makes dating frowned upon when you should be focusing on crushing others in your grades.”

“Sounds delightful.”

“Incredibly.”

“Who are you allegedly dating then?” Stefan asked curiously. 

“No one. I’m trying to crush others with my athletic skills,” he joked. 

“At least you’re original.”

Stefan took one last glance at Elena before returning to eating some alfredo concoction. Her pin-straight, brunette hair hung low, covering half her face, while her eyes hung even lower, avoiding the gaze he shot her way. Even from across the room, the melancholy energy she radiated couldn’t be missed.

It was one of those days for Elena, because the dread of being awake and functioning had not left her since this morning. Vicki and Jeremy were clearly in a bicker over some weed one of them lost, but Jeremy swore he left it in her room. Elena listened in to them, not daring to look too long at Vicki. She was insecure about her lazy eye and became easily offended if she thought someone was looking at it. Luckily, their argument didn’t seem too serious, and Elena was relieved she wouldn’t have to step in to defend her brother. The fact he was dating an older girl was enough to make Elena have a hidden dislike for Vicki, but he seemed happy with her and that’s all Elena wanted for him. 

“Do you want to come back to my room after?” Jeremy asked Vicki.

“Yeah, is your roommate going to be there?”

“No. He’s got plans of his own.”

Elena tuned out before she could make a look of disgust. 

“Elena,” Bonnie started,” do you want to come do the calculus packet with me? I have some of the answers already.” 

She looked up for the first time all evening. “Yes. Let me just finish eating first.” Bonnie was one of the few people here Elena could actually admit to liking. Her company was enjoyable, but not overbearing like Caroline’s, which was rather unfortunate because Caroline was her roommate instead. 

“I hate the way Vicki and Jeremy talk,” Elena said to Bonnie back at Bonnie’s room.

“Yeah, you can practically feel their horniness. Do they not know people are trying to eat around them?” Bonnie said.

“You just think they’d show some restraint at least while I’m there. They have all day and night without me, practically.” 

“Why don’t you say something?”

“I don’t know. Jeremy feels wanted and loved by her, I guess. After watching him be so sad for so long, I don’t want to get in the way.”

“Yeah, I get that. I don’t know, if they can’t keep it together, I’ll say something myself.” 

Elena lets out a small laugh. “Please do.”

“It’s for the sake of humanity; I just have to.”

She reaches for a blanket at the end of Bonnie’s bed and wraps herself in the soft grey fleece. Almost immediately she feels the need to sleep. 

“Did you see the new guy today?” Bonnie asked after some time of them working quietly. 

“Yes. He’s actually in my first hour. And I ran into him at the end of the day and fell on to the floor. It was awful,” Elena relayed. 

“Oh, that’s some bad luck. Is he nice?” 

“I guess. I was confused more than anything after I fell over. He picked up my things, though.”

“Wow, a true gentleman,” Bonnie said with amusement.

“Oh, yes. Has basic manners.”

“A miracle among men.”

Around eight, Elena said her goodbye to Bonnie and began her walk back to her shared room with Caroline. Meandering down the halls, she found herself sitting outside the library entrance. A buzzing, eerie energy came from the empty building. All but Elena had cleared the space tonight, on such an odd Tuesday of the month. No impending midterms or finals anytime soon, so no need to crowd the study space. Elena stared into the library, at a point between two bookshelves far off. Her mind felt numb all day, and even number as she allowed herself to zone out.

“Are you going to go inside?” 

Elena jumped, startled at the noise. She turned to face its origin. New kid, yet again.

Unblinkingly, she stared at him. “Or should I be scared of what’s in there?” he asked, joking.

“Um. No. There’s nothing in there.”

“What were you staring at?” he asked her.

“The wall.”

“Must be an interesting wall if it can keep your attention like that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Elena deadpanned.

“Nothing.”

She turned her head away, annoyed. Starting in the other direction, Stefan felt his chance at a good impression slipping as she moved. “I’m Stefan, by the way.” 

“Elena.”

“So I heard.”

“You like to gossip, then.”

“Not gossip, merely curiosity.”

“You won’t find what you’re looking for.” Elena turns sharply, then starts on her way again with a sense of urgency this time. Stefan doesn’t follow.

When it’s time to sleep, Elena lays on her side, facing away from Caroline’s bed, clutching one of her dog stuffed animals against her chest. She had a mild assortment, something Caroline teased her for, but someone like her could never understand why they would still bring her comfort at her age. She twists at the fur, contemplating the interactions of the day.

Why would Stefan bother trying to talk to her? Why was he even at the library? Was he following her? Why couldn’t she have just been nice? He was clearly trying to make a friend, or friendly conversation. She probably looked confused or strange to him, just standing there like that. Now she looked mean and hostile, and there was nothing she could do to change that impression now. A confused, clumsy, rude girl. Well, that might make him stay away. There wasn’t anything worth getting to know.

Eventually, she drifted off. 

Stefan felt defeated. He considered he came off creepy, and looked like he was stalking her after showing up to the library. Really, he was just going to get his student I. D. card he left there earlier in the afternoon when he picked up his books for class, but with his luck he had unfortunate timing. At least he got his card back. 

The embarrassment followed him into the morning. “Ron?” Stefan called softly to his roommate as they were getting ready.

“Huh?”

“That Elena girl…I saw her when I went to go get my I. D. She said that I won’t ‘find what I'm looking for’ when I introduced myself. She was at the library, just staring at the walls.” 

Ron laughed before he could answer. “I told you, dude. She’s a mute. She doesn’t want to talk, believe me, I’ve tried. Most boys have.” 

“Does she just stare at things?” 

“I don’t know, dude. I don’t grill this girl. Her parents died, though. She’s probably messed up in the head.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. Don’t ask her about it.”

“There goes my big plan.” 

Elena would be the last to admit that boys did try to get her attention. Sometimes they’d approach her with a big plan of getting her to talk, but after feeble attempts most stopped trying. They talked about her, though. The long, deep brown hair that flowed down her back. The soft brown eyes. Full eyelashes and a thin body. Boys thought she was more beautiful than hot, and her unattainable status made her more mysterious than sexy. 

Getting people, mostly boys, to leave her alone, was a talent Elena would admit to, however. Most of their efforts at conversation came off as teasing and belittling, leaving Elena feeling like a circus act to them. No one would actually try to engage with her on a genuine level; it was all about who could get the mute girl to talk. 

In her first class of the morning, she felt more alert in her pursuit to not look up, to not meet the eyes of the new kid. However, on Stefan’s end, he yearned for her to just meet his eyes once. Elena could feel the burn of his gaze across the aisle, and curiosity was getting the best of her reservations. A force drew her emotionally to ask why, to ask when; Am I just a silly challenge to you? Or are you unpoisoned from the thoughts of others?

Class was dismissed. Stefan packed up his notebook and his copy of Leaves of Grass. He gave up on getting Elena to notice him. Shoving his things into his bag then standing up, he was startled when he looked up. She was standing right in front of his desk, looking at him with doe eyes and arms crossed against her chest, fidgeting with her sweater. He stood, devoid of words.

She got the nerve to force out the words. “What’s your name?”


	2. Two

Two 

“I already told you.”

“What?” Elena blurted.

“Last night. It’s Stefan.”

“Oh. Right.” She felt her face burn. “I forgot.”

Forgetting her motive, she turned to walk out. “Wait. What’s your next class?” Stefan asked desperately.

“Calculus.”

“Let me walk you.” Elena stood still as her way of accepting the offer. He hurried to her side and began out of the room, which was emptying out at this point.

“Why’d you ask people about me?” Elena asked when they got into the hall, crowded with noise.

“Don’t make it sound like that, I only asked my roommate. He’s the only person here I talk to. And I asked because I knocked you over yesterday. A guy has got to know who he injured.”

“I wasn’t injured.”

“It was a joke.”

“I know.”

“Is there something I shouldn’t ask people about?”

“No, just wondering.”

“My roommate said you’re a mute, though.”

“Obviously that’s not true,” Elena said, rolling her eyes. “I probably just don’t like your roommate.”

“You have a problem with Ronald Herring?”

“With a name like that, it’s hard not to.”

Stefan laughed. After another turn down the hallway, Elena reached her calculus class. “My class is here. You should go to yours. Teachers here don’t like when people are late.” 

“Do you think they’d make an exception for an important conversation?” 

Elena grinded her teeth together at the question. “No.” Then she turned and walked inside. 

Stefan turned to walk to his class after a moment of contemplation. She was probably right about teachers not liking late students, so he walked and contemplated at the same time. What made her decide to talk to him? What changed her mind since last night? 

The rest of his day went by in a blink. He noticed Vicki in his third class of the day, her eyes red and low. Caroline was in his class right after lunch, sneaking her phone under desk at any given moment. She looked full of excitement and happiness more than anybody else he’d met here so far. During lunch he sat by himself outside, overlooking the green soccer field that could be seen from the benches outside the cafeteria. He never ate. Well not like the rest of them, anyway, if he didn’t have to.

The weather was bearable for a day in late September. The air had just begun cooling in the mornings and was warm but not uncomfortable by midday. Stefan knew he would have to leave during the night and make his way into the nearby woods. The location of the school was perfect for his needs, with clueless residents nearby and plenty of wildlife. He was no longer in a place with circulating legends about his kind, so there’d be no eye out for any sloppy details or clean up jobs. Sometimes it was hard for him to remember to clean up his tracks afterwards.

Stefan watched a group of birds picking at food in the dirt about fifteen yards away. To his right, he felt a presence emerge. He glanced and saw a girl, by herself, walking his way. As she neared, he knew that he was her destination. “Hey. What are you doing?”

He looked up at her, taking in her appearance. Deep brown eyes and hair to match, that flowed in tight curls. “Watching the birds. What’s your name?” he asked.

“Bonnie. I’m Elena’s friend.”

His expression softened. “Really? I guess that could make you a friend of mine, too.”

Bonnie let out a small, amused snort from her nose. “If you say so. Where are you from, Stefan?” She sat down beside him, crossing her legs. 

“The south. Virginia, specifically. Are you from around here?”

“No. Michigan. Why did you come here so late in the year?” she asked. Stefan felt that these questions weren’t for her own curiosity, and maybe Elena had sent her to ask. 

“Um, I was originally supposed to come here on time, but there was a family emergency so I couldn’t be here until that was resolved.” He hoped that sufficed. Any more detail probing and his story would become shaky.   
Bonnie mulled over his words. “Are you just being a stupid guy by trying to talk to Elena?”

His eyebrows raised. “What do you mean?”

“People here are kind of just...well, they’re assholes to her, okay? So if you’re just messing with her for fun by trying to be friendly, that’s the last thing she needs.” Now it was Stefan’s turn to mull.

“I’m not...like that, Bonnie. I don’t know what people here have done in the past but I don’t know anybody here and I already told Elena everything people, as in my roommate, have said.” 

The words hung in the air. “Sorry, this is all probably coming off as aggressive.”

“Don’t worry, I get it. You’re just looking out for her. Listen, how about you tell Elena that I want to hang out with her sometime this week. We can go into town or something.” He reaches into his bag to tear out a piece of paper, then writes down his phone number. “And she can text me whenever she’s free to do that.” Stefan hands Bonnie the paper.

“No promises.”

After school Bonnie and Elena walked back to the student housing together, where Bonnie relayed the conversation she had with Stefan. Elena was clutching the paper with his phone number written on it in her hands while hanging onto Bonnie’s every word. “So he’s not some dickhead just trying to mess with me?”

“Nope, hasn’t been corrupted by this place yet, apparently. He was sitting by himself, watching the birds. Kind of sad, honestly.”

Elena shrugs. “I guess. That’s what I would be doing if you didn’t exist.”

“He probably needs friends. I can’t imagine starting over here, again.”

“Yeah, so late in the game, too.”

Silence fell between them. Elena’s thoughts were racing with the possibilities of what could happen if she accepted Stefan’s invitation. She knew she had never been very good at friends. Even talking to Caroline about anything more than Matt or school or the shows they’d watch together proved to be difficult. Bonnie was the only person who she felt comfortable with because Bonnie never forced her to be anything she couldn’t be. 

Caroline plopped down on Elena’s bed when she returned to their room later in the evening. “So, I saw you walking with that new kid today,” Caroline posed, looking at Elena with glimmering eyes. 

“It was nothing. He wanted to walk me to class for some reason.” 

Caroline laughed. “He probably thinks you’re hot, Elena. You’re so bad at reading boys.”

Elena shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe. He’d be disappointed when he figures out that I’ve never had a boyfriend.” 

Caroline put her hair up into a ponytail then got up to pace around the room. “Doubt it. He seems like a loner, you’re probably his type. Matt didn’t have a girlfriend before me and we turned out fine.” Elena has to stifle a laugh of amusement, knowing full well the drama that goes down between them on a daily basis. 

“Speaking of Matt, he said he has to be project partners with some girl in his science class and I’m so not okay with that. He said they’d only work on it in the library together, but that seems suspicious to me.”

“Did he pick her as his partner?”

“Well, no. His teacher assigned them partners, but still.” 

Caroline continued on a rant about how she never trusts him around other girls. Apparently the fact about him never having a girlfriend before her, made her insecure because she worried he would want to date other girls. Elena just zoned out, looking at the clock on their wall, only half-way listening. The problem was always the same with Matt, but Elena never understood why. To her knowledge, he wouldn’t cheat because he’s too head over heels for Caroline. Eventually, she stopped talking and Elena was able to drift off.

Stefan decided to go out into the woods early in the morning. It was four when he headed out, careful not to make any noise to rouse Ron. He just wanted to get this over with and go on about his day without having to think about feeding himself. The downside to being around all these students was the unwavering instinct to feed on them. Even after all this time, he still found it difficult to be around crowds. 

In the dark of the morning, he was able to slip into the woods unseen. They started about a quarter-mile north of the campus, but going south is where the city picked up. The chill of the night air pierced his skin, and the wind picked up slightly the further he went into the foliage. After several minutes of silence and tracking, Stefan caught wind of the smell of a deer. It was fifty yards away, and in seconds he reached it before the animal could even sense his presence. 

The overwhelming feeling of hunger diminished as he sucked the life from the fawn’s neck, feeling it go limp in his grasp. His hunter’s instincts overcame his body, and when he was done he only tossed the body of the animal to the side. The experience left him irrational, after not expecting to even find an animal that large his first time in this territory. 

On the path back towards campus, his teeth reverted back inward, reminding him to clean his mouth. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping away any trace of blood. Carrying the accessories of the past times he lived in were a habit that died hard. The items people carried with them back then had a lot more practicality than now, at least in Stefan’s opinion. 

He caught sight of himself in a window outside the student housing. Face was clean, and he looked normal, as if only going for an early morning jog. The grand brick buildings reminded him of the one he went to for his original schooling; almost Victorian and full of history. Except here, he wasn’t a part of the history that went down. 

When Stefan returned to his room, Ron was still deep asleep, but the time was nearing six. He would wake soon. Stefan went to shower off the smell of violence.

“What do you mean you can’t go to class?” A voice could be heard when Stefan stepped out to head to class later in the morning.

“I’m too fucked up, Vick.” 

“You need to go. Your sister is gonna be pissed if she finds out you’re like this.” 

A few rooms down, the door was swung wide open and seemed to be the origin of the argument. Stefan moved towards it cautiously. 

“No she won’t, okay? Just cover for me and say I felt sick.”

“Sick with what?”

“I don’t know, make something up.” The sound of heaving could be heard moments later. 

“Dear god, what did you take?” 

Stefan could peek into the room now from where he stood, seeing Jeremy bent over a trash can and Vicki standing in front of him, hand on his back, as he heaved. 

“Nothing. Just go, Vicki.” She let out a sound of annoyance, walking out and past Stefan without even giving him a second glance. 

“Are you okay?” Stefan asked, moving towards the door frame. 

Jeremy seemed to barely register a stranger was approaching him. “Yeah dude. Can you close the door?” Stefan obliged. 

Elena was his priority now, to tell her what he saw. He moved fast through the halls that were filling in with people, searching for her face everywhere, but knowing he would find it as soon as he entered the class they shared. 

“Elena,” he said, discreetly but loud enough for her to hear him approaching. She looked up, confused at his urgency. 

“What?”

“Jeremy is your brother, right?” 

She nods.

“He’s sick. Or something. I heard him and this girl arguing this morning about how he took something and couldn’t go to class today because he was sick.” 

Dread overcame Elena. Her eyes shut in annoyance. “Thank you for telling me. I have to deal with that now.” Elena stood up and walked towards their teacher, speaking in a low voice and then gathering her things to exit the room. Before leaving, she looked back at Stefan. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t hide the pain across her expression. It seemed that no matter how hard she tried to keep herself together, her family would always get in the way of progress. But for now, making sure Jeremy was going to live through the day had to come before her own feelings.


	3. Three

Three

Jeremy always had substance issues. Ever since their parents died two years prior, Elena couldn’t seem to convince him to cope in any other way. The summer after it happened, his pupils never looked normal and every time she saw her brother, he was never walking in a straight line. He went to inpatient treatment for two months about a year later, and seemed to have been managing things better, but Elena never let up being cautious. Sometimes he seemed too happy, or too focused, and Jeremy was not one to be happy. 

So today, as she rushed to his room, Elena was not surprised by the scene she came up on. Jeremy was passed out in his bed with a trash can next to him. The excuse she gave her teacher and administrators in general was always the same; Jeremy suffered from severe PTSD and needed help to get going some days. Which was the truth, because even in his sober moments, Elena would have to come to his bedrooms in the morning and coax him into getting the days started. 

“Jeremy.” 

His eyes snapped open.

“What the hell are you on?” 

“How did you know I was still here?” 

Elena yanked open his night stand drawer and began digging through it. “What are you high off of right now?”

“You’re not gonna find it in there.” She slams the drawer shut and moves to the bathroom. In there, she finds a half-empty bottle of opioids. 

“Seriously? How many did you take?” she called out. 

“Not enough to kill me, don’t fucking freak out.” 

Elena came back out to look at him. “You’re a mess. Get up.” Jeremy groaned. 

“Listen, Elena. I just took them on an empty stomach, okay? I only took like four. They just make you sick if you don’t eat.” Jeremy slowly pushed himself out of the bed. Elena rolled her eyes and found water to give him. 

“Are you done throwing up?”

“Yes, Elena.” 

“You can’t keep doing this to me. I can’t help you if you keep doing this to yourself.” 

“I know.” 

“Throw them away.”

“I will.” She knew it was a lie but was afraid of how he’d act if she threw them out for him. 

“I don’t want to tell Jenna you need to go back to rehab. Did Vicki get you to do this?” 

“No, Elena. Vicki is mad at me, too. I told you she only smokes weed.”

“Whatever. Can you clean yourself up and get to class?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get ready.”

Elena took the trash bag out to the dumpster outside the student housing. She went back and stayed with Jeremy as he got ready, keeping a close eye on his state of sobriety. Her mind was racing in the silence. Jeremy was all she had left of her family. And if he threw his life away, Elena would have nothing. Elena couldn’t survive having nothing. When she walked Jeremy to his class, she took him into a hug before she let him leave. 

“Don’t fucking die and leave me here.”

She felt him tense up. “I won’t. You don’t need to be so dramatic.” He did hug her back, though, before going inside. 

When she returned to her own class, there were fifteen minutes left. Stefan stared at her with concern , and she gave him a shrug. She was on the verge of tears, and anything other than a concerned look would bring them out. She focused on the class work until the bell rang. 

“You missed an interesting lesson about transcendentalism,” Stefan said while handing her a copy of notes. 

“Are these yours?” 

“I wrote them down for you, too.” 

“Thank you.” 

They began walking in the direction of Elena’s next class. “Did you know that Whitman was a progressive?” Stefan asked. 

“Yes. He was anti-slavery and believed women should own property,” Elena said. 

“You know your philosophy.” 

“I don’t idolize his basic decency. But his work was necessary for deconstructing traditional writing styles.”

“What writers do you idolize?” Stefan asked. 

“Sylvia Plath.”

“Didn’t she stick her head in her oven to die?” 

“That’s the part I idolize,” Elena said with a sarcastic smile. 

Stefan laughed nervously. “I hope you’re joking.” 

“You’ll never know.” 

They reached her calculus class. “Elena, let me take you out tonight. The food here absolutely sucks and we deserve better.” 

“Okay.” He was shocked at how quickly she agreed. “I was meaning to text you. Bonnie did give me your number. I’ll see you later.” 

All he could think about was her. The way her hair looked tied back in a loose ponytail, her sardonic humor, the way she filled with light in the small moments he could get a smile out of her. Stefan found himself doodling a picture of her hair outline on a notebook sheet during lunch. He didn’t draw much like he used to but the way Elena looked was worthy of exercising his art skill. Stefan knew the pictures could never look like her, though. 

He searched up the places in the city he could take her. He brought his car to campus, but didn’t expect to have any use for it until now. Whichever kind of food Elena liked, Stefan found a place that served it and wrote the name of the establishment down. 

Worry filled Stefan. What was he doing? What did he want here? Any kind of friendship beyond surface level was dangerous. Stefan had friends, but they were all like him. Anyone human he kept at a distance. Anyone human wouldn’t understand. But here he was, pursuing ...friendship, with a girl who could never know him. 

“What are you getting all dressed up for?” Caroline asked. Elena stared between two shirts, one long sleeved orange one with buttons down the front, and a white sweater. 

“Stefan wants to go into town.” 

“No way! You’re going on a date?” Caroline exclaimed.

Elena laughed. “No, we’re hanging out. I barely know who he is, I’m not going on a date with a stranger.” 

“He’s hardly a stranger, besides being tall, dark and mysterious.”

“Well, he won’t be a stranger after tonight. But it’s still not a date.” 

“You are living every girl's dream, Elena. Do you hear how everyone talks about him?” Caroline asked, exasperated.

“I can barely hear myself talk, so no.”

She picked the orange shirt. She put it on then examined how it looked with the plain skinny jeans she was wearing. Sometimes Elena forgets how she looks outside of the stuffy uniform. “You should wear something that shows your boobs more.”

Elena snorts. “Not a chance.”

“Hey, just a suggestion.”

“What if we end up being just friends?” Elena insisted. 

“You have to aim high.” 

“I’ve never even had a boyfriend. I need to aim for something attainable.” She picked up her phone to text Stefan which room she is, and that she was ready to go. Her stomach flipped. “Speaking of boyfriends, where’s Matt?”

“Doing that stupid project,” Caroline said with a roll of the eyes. She was typing furiously on her phone now. 

“Try not to murder anybody while I’m gone,” Elena joked.

“No promises.”

Stefan texted that he was walking over. Her heart fluttered and a tightness in her chest built up. Before this moment, she hadn’t realized what she agreed to. Which was an evening full of talking, which usually leads places that aren’t pleasant to talk about, and then she stumbles over her words and forgets how to think, and then embarrassment ensues. It takes extreme willpower to not cancel right then and there. She knew it was too late. 

A knock came. Caroline shot Elena an amused look. Elena picked up her purse then opened the door.

Elena realized this was her first time seeing him outside of the uniform, as well. Though she wasn’t one to talk on a good day, Elena was speechless when she met eyes with Stefan. Even in the unremarked fluorescent lighting the dorms gave, his deep brown eyes sparkled in a way that made it difficult to focus on anything else. 

“Hi. Are you ready?” he asked in a kind voice. She nodded, stepping out and closing the door behind her. 

They walked a few paces before she spoke. “Sorry. Caroline is a little nosy.”

“Is that your blonde friend?”

“Yes, and roommate. Dating Matt, the soccer player.”

“I would be lying if I said I knew what he looked like.” He made a turn that she didn’t expect, towards the parking lot. “I have a car. I’m not going to make you walk that far.” 

“You know, if we take a car we have to be back in the parking lot by nine,” Elena stated.

“You plan on spending that much time with me?” Stefan retorted.

Flustered, she laughed it off. “I’m just saying. On school nights, they have strict rules about that.” 

“We’ll be back, then. I won’t be getting you in trouble.”

They walk through the gravel, then come up on his old, blue mustang. “Pretty car,” Elena said as he opened the passenger side door for her. 

“Thanks, it used to be my brothers.” He closed her door. 

“Speaking of brothers, is Jeremy okay?” Stefan asked when they began driving. 

She sighed before speaking. “Yes, he’s fine. Just stupid.” 

“What happened?” 

“Um, well this is more than you probably want to hear, but Jeremy sort of has...addiction problems. He has for a while now. Sometimes it’s better, sometimes it’s worse. This morning he just took something on an empty stomach and it made him sick. He’ll be fine, I guess.” She was surprised how easily it came out. Elena can’t remember the last time she had to explain it to somebody new. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Has he gotten help before?” 

“Yeah, he’s been to rehab. I don’t know, he just has a lot of sadness or something. Things got better when he started dating this girl Vicki, but even with that I’m getting worried again. Last week he got super drunk in some field a few miles from here and Matt had to carry him back here. He said he doesn’t remember what happened.” 

“Does addiction run in the family?”

“No, not particularly...our parents died. That’s why he started. I haven’t really seen my brother since.”

“I know what you mean.”

“Sorry to get so dark so fast.”

“I asked for it, didn’t I?” he said while giving a small, understanding smile. 

Elena wanted Greek food. So Stefan took them to the Greek food establishment that he wrote down earlier in the day, about twenty minutes away from the school. “Are you from here or do you just know where the restaurants are from a sense of direction?” Elena asked.

“I looked up where the close ones were. Did you grow up here?”

“No, Portland. Bonnie said you’re from Virginia.”

“That’s right.”

“No accent?” 

“Not everyone from the south has an accent. Plus it’s been a long time since I’ve been back.” 

While they ate, outside at a park close to where they bought food, Elena had more questions.

“So if you’re from Virginia but haven’t been back in awhile, what have you been up to?” 

Stefan took a breath, choosing his next words carefully. “I was born there, and lived there up until highschool. Then I moved away with my brother, but he passed.” A beat of silence fell between them. “When I finally got sorted out after that, I decided to go back to school and come here. So I wouldn’t have to go back home.” 

“Wow I’m sorry. Death follows me, I think. I’m sorry it found you, too.” 

He laughed. “It was an accident. Things happen, you know? Things you can’t plan for.” 

“Yeah, believe me, I get it.”

“Elena, what do you like to do in your free time?” 

“Free time? We don’t get much of that going to this school. Just studying. I don’t know, I like to read but I do so much of that already. You?” 

“I do some reading, too. But I mostly like to be outdoors and doing things out there.”

“Like hiking?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Is that why we’re outside now?” Elena stared across the grass. There was a section of the park for dogs in the distance. 

“I thought it would be nice to see the sun set.” The sky was orange, with a light reflection of pink on the scattered clouds.

“It’s pretty. Wish I brought sunglasses, though.” Stefan reaches in his jacket pocket to hand her his.

“Wow, thanks. So prepared.”

She put them on with a smile, thinking about how silly she must look in them. “These are so not my style.”

“What? I think they suit you.”

“Mmm. That’s a lie.” 

“I’d never lie, especially not about sunglasses.”

“They’re huge.”

“They’re perfect on you.” She was grateful for their size when her cheeks began to burn. 

Stefan was just picking at his food now. When he was a human, he liked lamb meat in food. He still has a taste for lamb, just not cooked and wrapped in a tortilla. Luckily Elena seemed unfocused on his lack of eating, he had only managed to get halfway through. When she was done, they moved from the park bench and began a walk around. 

“Stefan, what made you want to even see me? Like...not to sound incredibly lame, but no one wants to be my friend, really. Not that I care, it’s just not making sense why you’re going out of your way for someone you don’t know.”

“I don’t think it’s fair to say I don’t know you at all, now. But do I need a reason? Can’t I just want to be friends?”

Elena’s heart tugged at the word “friend”. 

“Well, I guess not. Just seems kind of weird.” 

“It’s not weird to spend time with a nice person.” 

“I feel like you could be doing other things with people who are more fun.”

“I don’t like to party, if that’s what other people at school do.” 

“Sort of, yeah.”

She meandered around the sidewalk. A couple flower beds were at her feet. Stefan bent down to pick one; a daisy. He handed it to Elena with a grin. “Thanks.”

The flower sat in Elena’s lap on the drive back to campus. Stefan had Joy Division playing from the car, with the windows down about half way, and she was welcoming the cool night air. Looking over at him, the way the twilight reflected from his face made Stefan look unreal. Almost ghostly, like he wasn’t made to be in such a simple world. She couldn’t help but think how simple she would look to him if he studied her like she studied him now. 

“You won’t be sad forever, Elena.” They now stood face-to-face in front of her bedroom. 

“I could say the same about you. But if you’re around I might have a reason to be happy.” The words came out before Elena even realized their boldness. Her teeth came together in anticipation. 

Stefan looked at her doll-like eyes, and all he could think about was wishing he knew what was going on behind him. In his own boldness, he brushed Elena’s hair back behind her shoulder. Frozen, she felt his fingers run all the way down her arm, then grasp her hand briefly, before letting it fall. 

“Goodnight, Elena.”


End file.
